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Losing your temper is never the answer. Sure, it feels good for a moment to yell and scream until you're blue in the face, but it won't change anything. When you're angry with someone, try to take a step back and identify what's really bothering you. If you can pinpoint what angers you so much about the situation, then tackling that issue is easier than yelling at somebody who's not even there. Often times people are angry because they feel unappreciated or think they deserve more recognition for their efforts than they currently receive. There may be resentment over not getting paid enough or any bonuses due after their work product has exceeded expectations. This can build up and boil over during a typical work day and end in a yelling match over something that could easily be fixed by discussing the concerns. Rather than getting into an argument, try looking at things from another point of view. Realize that everybody feels appreciated and rewarded for their work. If someone has not been getting what they feel they deserve, they may feel like you don't value them as an employee. They may not know how to fix the problem or talk about it because it makes them uncomfortable. Asking for help allows your employee to open up and give you a chance to really understand their worries and concerns. If they are willing to talk, then be sure to listen. Most often, they are frustrated that they are not getting paid or valued for their work. Sometimes, people can excel so much that their employer forgets all about them. They may come to the realization that there is an underlying issue causing their lack of appreciation and neglect on top of their regular job duties. This may be a regular occurrence at the company but you've just missed it due to your busy schedule or work. Let's say your employee is getting paid $10 per hour and you're not getting anything extra for what you're doing on top of their typical job duties. This is a perfect example of an employee doing more work than most folks at their level and they're not even getting compensated for it. It's best to try and solve this problem before things escalate into an argument. This allows you to focus on the issue without judgment or blame towards either part. Asking your employee what they would like to change will allow them to step back from the situation, think about it, and communicate what they'd like changed in the hopes that their needs are met. Once you identify how you can help them feel appreciated or rewarded, take steps to do so. Be frank about your understanding of the current issues and take action based on their response. Keep in mind that this isn't about you; it's about your employee and how they feel. That being said, it's a great idea to grab a cup of coffee and ask a friend to come with you so you have a third set of ears on the situation. A colleague or trusted friend can really help give you insight on what's going on and how best to approach things for the good of all involved. Being able to discuss any issues openly is crucial in order to solve them. The most effective way to handle situations like these is with honesty, integrity, and professionalism above all else.
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